Perichoresis
j. a. arrick
Where is the to be or not to be seen?
-the man in the chair to the right of Ophelia.
Her face is not found nor bound hands and feet
rather, Athena’s chiseled figure is entombed
with weather faded stone.
Inferno fired cinderblocks holds
room in dance, and her, like paralysis’
daughter, songless, danceless, unclapped,
floats and therefore seem not to be.
He was not to be no more, but was to dance
In warmth and caress, with hand on side
Arm in air, and step in light, her face to his
The room decrease, their love crescendo
He was to dance. Instead, he is absent.
The room awaits the fiddle and horn,
and poises to tap a vibrant tune,
illuminates with joy and verve;
but there is not to be a dance
the couple is not to be.
nor anymore, Ophelia
1 comments:
Of the two you posted, this is by far the superior. If I might suggest one thing, the surprise jaggedness of line 6 up to the comma in line 7 would better jive with the rest of what you've got going on here if you smoothed over the syntax. The rest of the piece has a very fluid continuity, and though disruption of that is sometimes called for, in this case I think it's more of a rock that shatters an otherwise calm surface.
Still, Kudos.
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